Learning to Resolve Conflict With Little or No Casualties

conflict 2Many people avoid confrontation because they are afraid of conflict. Instead of addressing issues that are disturbing or affecting them at work, home, or elsewhere, they try to be “nice”. Niceness usually glosses over the issue at hand and results in feelings of frustration, anger and depression. Most times when we try to be nice, we avoid talking about issues and resolving them with the other party involved, instead, we talk to ourselves gossip with others, grumble, complain, and curse about what the other party did or is doing to us.

Suffering In Silence (The Worst Way to Suffer)

“Suffering in silence” contrary to what you might think is not a virtue and it certainly doesn’t translate to being a peaceful person. When you avoid conflict and suffer in silence, your health and self-esteem depreciates, and you lose internal peace. If someone’s bad attitude is affecting your productivity at work or your peace of mind generally, you must do something about it. All it takes to resolve conflict is communication but if you are afraid of your conversation leading to a quarrel or you being shouted at, you end up keeping quiet. Yes, conflict might arouse overwhelming emotions and there is the possibility of you being disliked, ridiculed or like I mentioned earlier shouted at, but you stand to gain a lot more by taking that risk conversing.

Using Conflicts to Grow Your Relationships

Conflicts can lead to increased understanding and better relationships depending on how you handle them. Learn to think of conflicts as a way of smoothing out the rough edges in your relationships. You can’t advance, succeed or grow in life or in any relationship without confronting others at some point. As long as you interact with human beings, you will encounter conflict and knowing how to handle it and resolve the issues at hand is very important. Conflicts don’t have to be negative or become volatile. They don’t have to escalate into quarrels, fist fights, or hurtful words. There are however some key steps you must take to ensure that your conflicts don’t go south.

Getting the Best Out Of Conflict:

  • Calm down before trying to talk things out.
    Conflicts can’t be resolved when you are emotional, upset or angry. So before confronting a person you are upset with, do something that will help you cool off. Different people have different ways of easing internal tension, but here are some ways that you can try out to see what works best for you.
  •  Take a deep breath
  •  Splash cold water on your face or take a cold bath
  •  Cry
  • Pray
  • Take a walk
  •  Listen to some uplifting music.

Having done this, you will be better equipped to converse objectively with the other party rather than just react to the situation.

  • Evaluate your thoughts, feelings and identify the real Issues you need to address. Think of why the other party is acting or talking the way they are. Having identified the root of their grievance, empathize with them  by putting yourself in their shoes and doing/saying what you would like to be done or said to you in a similar situation.
  • Stop worrying about how people will perceive you and do what needs to be done.

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  • Don’t be aggressive in your approach.
  • Look for a safe environment to confront them in.
  • Pay attention to the language you use when talking. Choose your words carefully. Hurtful words are a No No. Focus on the problem at hand and not on the person. Attacking a person makes them defensive and unable to really listen to what you are saying. Be honest and polite. Avoid pulling the person down with your words, guilt trips and sarcasm
  • Listen to what the other party is saying and take responsibility. If people feel like you understand, they become less volatile. Also listening helps you gain insight to why the other party behaved the way they did. This insight would greatly benefit the relationship in the future.
  • Come up with solutions that satisfy both parties. Don’t be rigid and remember, you MUST be willing to compromise.
  • Appreciate the other party for listening. Say thank you to them for working things out. If things don’t work out, appreciate them nonetheless for listening.
  • Forgive and let go. Forgive and let go of any bitterness or anger you have towards the other party. In a conflict, not every confrontation will give you the change you want despite your best efforts. Learn to move on without holding grudges.

The good book says “follow peace with all men.” Most times, that may mean taking the first step and having a conversation with the person whose words or actions are affecting your peace of mind and productivity. If you don’t try to resolve issues that are affecting you, who will?

Have you been involved in a conflict that you were able to get the best out of? Share how you resolved it in the comments below. Also if you have any current conflicts that you don’t know how to resolve, tell us about it either by dropping a comment or via email ( pearlemem@thelittlevelvetbox.com ), and let’s see how we can help you out. Happy Resolving!

Emem Ita

Emem Ita

Hello, my name is Emem. I'm a marketing & social media strategist with a flair for reading, research, pretty shoes and luscious cake.

I help Entrepreneurs, Coaches & Trainers Move From Struggling Online To;

*Increasing Their Online Visibility & Influence even if they are introverts
*Consistently Attract Customers Online

Download this online customer attraction checklist and start consistently attracting customers online. Click this link to download http://bit.ly/2wwzJ1u

Schedule a free strategy session with me by clicking this link http://bit.ly/2hLXfoC
Emem Ita
About Emem Ita

Hello, my name is Emem. I'm a marketing & social media strategist with a flair for reading, research, pretty shoes and luscious cake.

I help Entrepreneurs, Coaches & Trainers Move From Struggling Online To;

*Increasing Their Online Visibility & Influence even if they are introverts
*Consistently Attract Customers Online

Download this online customer attraction checklist and start consistently attracting customers online. Click this link to download http://bit.ly/2wwzJ1u

Schedule a free strategy session with me by clicking this link http://bit.ly/2hLXfoC

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