How To Use Conflicts To Improve Your Relationships

Angry menConflicts can lead to increased understanding and better relationships depending on how you handle them. Learn to see conflicts as a way of smoothing out the rough edges in your relationships. You can’t advance, succeed or grow in life or in any relationship without confronting others at some point. As long as you interact with human beings, you will encounter conflict and knowing how to handle it and resolve the issue at hand is very important. Conflicts don’t have to be negative or become volatile. They don’t have to escalate into quarrels, fist fights, or hurtful words. There are however some key steps you must take to ensure that your conflicts don’t go south. These steps are;

  • Calm down before trying to talk things out.
    Conflicts can’t be resolved when you are emotional, upset or angry. So before confronting a person you are upset with, do something that will help you cool off. Different people have different ways of easing internal tension, but here are some ways that you can try out to see what works best for you.
  •  Take a deep breath
  •  Splash cold water on your face or take a cold bath
  •  Cry
  • Pray
  • Take a walk
  •  Listen to some uplifting music.

Having done this, you will be better equipped to converse objectively with the other party rather than just react to the situation.

  • Evaluate your thoughts, feelings and identify the real Issues you need to address. Think of why the other party is acting or talking the way they are. Having identified the root of their grievance, empathize with them  by putting yourself in their shoes and doing/saying what you would like to be done or said to you in a similar situation.
  • Stop worrying about how the other party will perceive you and do what needs to be done.
  • Don’t be aggressive in your approach.
  • Look for a safe environment to confront them in.
  • Pay attention to the language you use when talking. Choose your words carefully. Hurtful words are a No No. Focus on the problem at hand and not on the person. Attacking a person makes them defensive and unable to really listen to what you are saying. Be honest and polite. Avoid pulling the person down with your words, guilt trips and sarcasm
  • Listen to what the other party is saying and take responsibility. If people feel like you understand, they become less volatile. Also listening helps you gain insight to why the other party behaved the way they did. This insight would greatly benefit the relationship in the future.
  • Come up with solutions that satisfy both parties. Don’t be rigid and remember, you MUST be willing to compromise.
  • Appreciate the other party for listening. Say thank you to them for working things out. If things don’t work out, appreciate them nonetheless for listening.
  • Forgive and let go. Forgive and let go of any bitterness or anger you have towards the other party. In a conflict, not every confrontation will give you the change you want despite your best efforts. Learn to move on without holding grudges.

Conflict cannot be avoided in your relationships, and suffering in silence or being hostile doesn’t help either party.This week, practice the above steps in your relationships. You’ll be all the better for it.

Emem Ita

Emem Ita

Hello, my name is Emem. I'm a marketing & social media strategist with a flair for reading, research, pretty shoes and luscious cake.

Learn how to turn your knowledge & expertise into income by building online influence. Interested? Simply send an SMS now with your name & email to 08061683126
Emem Ita
About Emem Ita

Hello, my name is Emem. I'm a marketing & social media strategist with a flair for reading, research, pretty shoes and luscious cake.

Learn how to turn your knowledge & expertise into income by building online influence. Interested? Simply send an SMS now with your name & email to 08061683126

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